I Still Don't Know What Makes The Chinese Laugh



So stop asking, okay?

Twins!











Ricky Tomlinson (a.k.a. Jim "My Arse" Royle)












Dik Browne (creator of "Hagar the Horrible")

Oh, Chachi!

Remember your first time? Scott Baio remembers his first time. It was with Erin "Joanie Cunningham" Moran. He was 16 and it was mmmagic:

"I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say after we got naked. So for the first five minutes, maybe less—hell, it might have been the first twenty seconds—I'm doing it and thinking, man, this is really uncomfortable. What happened was, my thing was between the cushions on the couch and I didn't even know it. Instead of being inside Erin, I was humping a corduroy sofa!"

That's so cute, Scott Baio. And now that I know, you don't really have to publish BaioWatch: How I Dated and Loved Hollywood's Most Beautiful Women and Ended Up Alone. Because even though I've only read a few excerpts, I'm almost sure it won't be as much fun as humping a corduroy sofa.

Pint Of Bacon

I'm through messing around with clumsy, awkward buns. Especially now that bacon in a glass, a.k.a. smoked beer, has combined the goodness of bacon with the greatness of beer.

According to chow.com, it's made by smoking sprouted barley malt before brewing (or by dropping extremely hot stones into the beer during the brewing process).

So fuck you Maple Leaf. I'm a Schlenkerla Rauchbier man now.

The Hip Hop

Between that and the rap music, it was quite a day.

I started out by discovering my favourite new rap artist or "rapper", Blizzard Man:

Then I watched the State of the Union address:

And that reminded me that I hadn't listened to Rappin' Ronnie in a while...

No, I meant my Rappin' Ronnie Reagan tape... ah forget it.

I Don't Watch Musikvideos Anymore

Or at least I didn't until I found Sweden's ZTV's good-looking new beta site. You can watch a live programming stream or choose stuff from the archived selection. Seems there's only 24 tunes at the moment but it's a fun mix of old and new. Or you can go watch MuchMusic for five minutes and try not to throw up. www.ztv.se

Something For Everyone

Well, actually nothing for no one. The rumour was true - it's the most amazing bacon on bun web site on the interinfosuperhighway. It has everything: ALF, Pokemon, MSN conversations, an Esteban Quote generator, ALF porn and a good chunk of the U.S. Constitution (now with strikethrough). Remember to scroll to the bottom and follow the instruction. You could be a winner!

It's www.bacononabun.com. And I honestly don't know why it isn't your homepage.

Segway For Quebec

Thanks to Bombardier (and lord only knows where they get their ideas), unicyclers could maybe one day at some point in a distant alternate future be getting a lot more respect:

Powered by a hydrogen fuel cell and gyroscopically balanced, the Embrio is a one-wheeled recreational and commuting vehicle. Jester helmet sold separately. What? It is!

Chappelle On Aquaman


Let me be clear - this is not superhero week on HPOP. Really. Okay, yes, this IS the second superhero-related posting. And, okay, pretty much every week is superhero week on HPOP. But that's not the point. It just happens I was remembering how much I sometimes enjoyed Dr. Katz and came across this clip with Dave Chappelle. That's it.

Frisky Dingo



Brock beat me to my posting today. Spiders, drugs, on, Hinterland Who's Who, etc. Go.

Anyway, this = Frisky Dingo. Promising new Adult Swim series. Same creators as Sealab 2021 but the jury is still out. This be part one of episode two. I think most/all of the first season is available on Y'Tube.

Creation Vacation

Screw Europe. This spring I'm going south. To rural northern Kentucky. To be one of the first to visit the Creation Museum! And you're coming with me!

Together we'll explore Ken Ham's sprawling $25 million monument to creationism as we learn about alternative theories to existence. The kind that will definitely make us question years of faith-poor evolutionary science.

"Look out!" we'll say as we witness roaring dinosaurs and animatronic humans coexisting in a biblical paradise.

And who will be able to draw a breath when we learn how baby thunder lizards fit on Noah's Ark or how Cain married his hot, hot sister to populate the Earth? Not us!

Personally, I can't wait to talk to the chaplain - the one that has been hired for museum-goers in need of spiritual guidance. So long egghead tour guides (is what we'll say)!

Comics. With Nazis.

Nazis make good villains. No, really. Observe:

Here we see Captain America getting slapped (hard) by Nazi Frankenstein.


Ah, but here Cap takes his "wish fulfilment" revenge by punching Hitler. I'm not sure why all the Nazis who are firing guns are missing him at this range. (Note: impossible to see at this size but worth mentioning are the historically accurate "Sabotage Plans For U.S.A.", written in English, sticking out from under the map of America.)

A Nazi Ghost Ship? With Ghosts of Nazis? You better believe the Green Hornet will have his hands full. Of ghosts!

The fey gentleman in green tights goes by the handle of "Captain Nazi". Personally I think he should have worn the standard-issue uniform (like Nazi Frankenstein).

On Being (Compared To) Hitler

The thing is, while it would seem that no one else has actually been Hitler (unconfirmed I admit), it seems that almost everyone has taken a turn at being compared to Hitler. Donald Rumsfeld. Bill O'Reilly. Clarence Thomas. Ariel Sharon. Robert Mugabe (who actually compared himself to Hitler). Oh, and Bush Jr. Once I think. In passing.

I'm no better. How often have I compared my close friends to Goebbels or Göring? And did they really deserve it? Most definately. Still, I think it behooves us all to remember Godwin's Law (also known as Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies): "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one."

Ergo, at the risk of robbing valid comparisons of real impact I'm going to try using alternatives such as organized religion, big tobacco or supervillains.

My friends (probably) deserve as much. Do yours?

Nazi Week: Heeeeere's Hitler!

Hitler - funny ha ha or funny ironic? Maybe both. Probably neither. It seems that German film critics aren't quite ready to laugh at the first comedy about their former beloved evil dictator. Strange considering the German reputation for smiles, sunshine and general good timery.

Swiss Jewish director Dani Levy's ""Mein Führer: The Truly Truest Truth about Adolf Hitler" which portrays the barbarous megalomaniac as a bed-wetting drug addict is being panned for its largely unfunny slapstick and limp jokes (ooh, tough crowd).

The plot: fictional Jewish acting coach Adolf Grünbaum is plucked from a concentration camp (yay!) by Joseph Goebbels to get the depressed (aww) dictator back in shape for a mass rally to reinvigorate the German people.

Finally. A movie that combines the hilarity of holocaust Germany with totally appropriate empathy for a madman.

Official site: http://www.meinfuehrer-derfilm.de/

Article (great title): http://www.spiegel.de/international/0,1518,458387,00.html

Über Special Theme Week

That's right - it's Nazi Week on HPOP. Please to get ready for more fun than an enormous bag of marzipan Joy-Joys mit Iodine, ja?

Back And More Lazy Than I Thought I Might Be

It's not my fault I tells ya. It's Xmasnewyears - I did nothing, thought little and fattened myself up for the winter that almost was but then wasn't. Not that this isn't postworthy (Kate Winslet's hilarious tableau toward the end - wait for it). But it's just lazyfood for bloghungry intervores like you. And you. And you. Not so much you.

Next week - back on track. With a special theme. And what a theme.