You Likem Holidays

Don't know if I'll have the time, energy or will to update HPOP until the new year so happy whatever to y'all and yours.

Last Minute Gift Idea

Check it out on CD Baby.com:

- "More cutting-edge worshipful fun like Worship Rock 1, but geared for 2-10 year olds."

- "Appreciated by kids, and even choosy musicians." (wow - even them!)

And the reviews are overwhelmingly positive:

"Cool" and Fresh. -Brent Weber - Music Minister

Favourite tracks: "No, Slow, Grow & Go!" and "Deep and Wide" (in that order).

Personally, I was a little concerned about the message they seemed to be sending young Christians. But one look at their website and my worries just melted away (I took this from the first page):

"It's here, it's huge, and you've never seen anything like it."

Please Tell Me What This Is



It's Russian, stupid... what else am I missing?

Weekend = Lazypost ©



Bilingualism. Is there anything as sexy as bilingualism?

My Hero



Oh. He's only blind. Nevermind.

Super Awkward



More corruption of your childhood memories can be seen at superdickery.com. Don't miss The Seduction Of The Innocent gallery which features such gems as:

Someone commanding Captain America to wank.

Batman being forced into a boner by the joker for some reason.

Aunt May making a shocking discovery about teenagers.

Actionable Items: Author Anything // Today: Screenplays



My final posting on the subject. It's been a week - you should all be highly capable literate geniuses with lucrative publishing/film deals locked up to tell your incredibly moving first person account of hard-fought/hard-won battles with plagiarism, substance abuse, your (former) legal guardians, yo-yo dieting, indecisiveness, decisiveness, uncontrollable falling down and sexual/ethnic/racial/religious identity repression issues by now.

Actionable Items: Author Anything // Today: Very Very Epistolary


It is by all accounts a lost art. Or is it? Make no mistake, there's nothing quite so satisfying as composing a mediated, cogent and witty dispatch. In some cases, however, 'tis better to receive than to give. This quote is taken from a recent email composed by one of my favourite contemporary epistolarians, Miss Lindsay Lohan.

"I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help. Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country. Our people. Also because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see."

Obviously.

Actionable Items: Author Anything // Today: Spice It Up

Today's readers are savvy, lazy and a li'l bit kerrrazy! Okay, rhyming was yesterday. My point: if you want to compete with the Wiis, XBs and PS3s (can't stop), you have to stay on top of YOUR game, playa! Let's break it down. Phreh-phreh-phresssh!

SAVVY: People expect you to use words. But words they don't know? Or better, don't exist? Neologisms and obscure idioms make your writing seem smarter. That makes you seem smarter. And THAT is perfectly cromulent.

LAZY: Who has time to read whole words anymore? Save time and look cool by using apostrophes and contractions whenever and wherever you can. Just look at the success of words like Li'l Abner, Li'l Jinx and Lil' Kim. Rockin'!

KERRRAZY: See how I flagrantly misspelled the word "crazy"? Whatever - like I care. Flouting linguistic convention is as rebellious as it sounds. Try things like adding the letter 'z' to the end of words or even superfluous letters - i.e. apostropheeez! Screw you dictionary - I don't play by your rulez!

Actionable Items: Author Anything // Today: Rhyming



Coaxing a full-blown paragraph onto the page or screen can be daunting to even the most literate of graduates. Good advices: start with poetry.

Published and purchased by chumps for centuries, poetry (or "writing-lite") is for the most part limp and largely pointless. It is, however, remarkably easy. Remember: the path of least resistance is usually the least resistant.

Rhyming is the key to all successful poems. Most words can be made to rhyme and hence enjoyed for seconds. This inspirational video will help get you started. Good luck!

Actionable Items: Author Anything

So goes the famous Peter Cook joke: Two guys are at a party. One says, “I’m working on a novel” and the other replies, “Neither am I.” Ha ha, clink, so true, etc. Unfortunately you, me and everyone we know is officially out of excuses.

Seems that Britney's (first) ex, Jason Alexander, has decided to reveal the details of his 55-hour marathon marriage in - get this - "a book". A quote from the exclusive interview with the UK Sun:

"Britney knows about it. There are things in the book that will upset her. There will be things in the book she will be mad at. It's all the details of the wedding and all the stuff that's been going on. It talks about everything. There is no holding back because that's what people want to know about. It does feature our sex life. It does feature having sex with her and what that was like."

So there. You CAN write and DO have something to say. Go forth and create. Use commas.