Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Lovers In A Dangerous Randomized Controlled Trial

Ran into Special K recently. Like so many Montrealers, she finally succumbed to big pharma's Vegas-like lure of the clinical trial. You've seen the ads - it's practically free money. You spend a few nights, sign a few wavers and pray that your children (assuming you can still reproduce) develop teeth, a healthy intellect and a tail small enough to be hidden by baggy pants.

Special K pulled a three-nighter. Observation: once a week for three weeks. The drug: developed to alleviate severe stomach cramping in South American children. I don't know what the hell they're eating down there but what a boon for our local economy.

On her last visit the researcher blurted out what must rank as one of the most awkward overtures in the history of science: "I'm really going to miss you. Would you like to... come back for another experiment?" As it turns out he says that to most of his rats too. Still.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

cute pic. i like that her lady-bits are covered with neon tubing. and a big coin. nice hat-bucket, too. need to gets me a big ol' hat bucket. with sensors. gotta have the sensors.

1:07 PM  

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